The Whole Blog

I Was Planning On Writing Something Else

Since May, a lot of strange things have been happening in regards to my health and my physical ability. Six months ago, I was doing four to five intensive workouts a week – two of those days I would be doing two classes back-to-back. Now, I can’t really get away with doing one of the strength classes a week. I haven’t worked out in the capacity that I had been in a few weeks, and I am starting to feel it.

There was a big, obvious reason as to why I was working out so much, and that was to look good. I’ve had some seriously deep habits of hating how I look that had stemmed from late elementary school, but as I have been entering my twenties and life started to pick up, working out had become my biggest stress relief. I was sleeping, smiling, and purposefully walking in front of mirrors. My working out habits started getting pretty heavy about a year ago, giving my six months of some pretty rejuvenating plyometrics, strength training, and some dancing – because ya girl loves to dance! Since I had my first flare up mid-April, I suddenly found myself unable to do the hardcore workouts I had been able to do not two weeks before.

That’s something I have been struggling with more then anything else. Do I miss my daily coffee? Hell yeah. I miss my abundance of Mexican food (chips & salsa ARE the way to my heat) and my ice cream. Don’t even get me started on thick crust pizza; I’ve worked through that, and I’m able to fight off the majority of my cravings. Yet the most difficult thing for me to wrap my head around is that my body can’t really work out the way it could not so long ago. I have found two pretty intense reasons why I’m having issues with it:

The Level of Intensity Meant A Lot: I tried doing yoga after I realized that maybe jumping around on my inflamed joints wasn’t really good anymore. But I found that I still had aggression and anxiety that flowed through my body maybe an hour after completing a thirty minute yoga session. So I stopped, because of that and more so because I didn’t think it was impressive enough. I kept trying to attend the strength classes, but after the one on Tuesday nights, I woke up and sometimes could hardly walk because of the stress on my ankle joints; I couldn’t make espresso drinks (I work at a local coffee shop) without a pain in my wrists because of the weights. It was a crushing blow. Even when I tried to pick up yoga again, I felt the same pain and immflamuation in my wrists. It’s difficult for me to sit with myself and allow my body to heal and process things is on it’s own, when my brain is so full of previous expectations and emotions that need expression. This has been one rough evaluation of how my body deals with things.
My Idea Wasn’t A Possibility Anymore: What do I mean by that? I mean that I had always had this image in my head about what I should look like and how to get there. Suddenly, almost overnight, I found myself watching as that image was blown away in my brain, leaving me with no point of reference. How can I burn away the remaining fat if I couldn’t do any kind of cardio? How could I get those lean muscles if I couldn’t attend my strength classes? My God, was I destined to remain half way there?! Fighting with a daily fear of what others things of me, this was the most heartbreaking reality I have had to face so far.

There is one massive positive here though, and that is this: I realized that my image of “attractive, healthy, and fit” was not really going to work for my body type anyway. It clicked in my head that maybe, just maybe, what I was seeing and comparing myself to was actually dangerous to my self-esteem and the image I had of my own body.

It’s easy to take advantage of something that you don’t know can get taken away when you’re so young. It’s incredible what can appear or disappear in just one day. What’s happened though is I’ve found myself feeling healthier then before because I’ve had to make major mental switches. I’ve had to realize that maybe yoga and pilates is actually good enough; that maybe jumping around and lifting dumbbells isn’t the only way to achieve a heathy body or be able to release that stress and anxiety. I’m just now coming around to the idea that being told I have autoimmune diseases was one of the best things to happen to me. Although that depends on the day you ask me, which is like most things.

I wanted to take this moment to write this post, because how I’m feeling right now isn’t common. Living with an autoimmune disease is no joke. But don’t give up. Be gentle with yourself. And continue to try new things. You never know, maybe yoga didn’t work a year ago, but it’ll work for you now.

It’s Been A While

hourglass-time-hours-sand-39396 In all honesty, I have no idea how so much time has passed since I first posted. Since (W)hole is such a new business, I sort of feel like I’ve left my kid home alone for too long. Well, since January, I’ve found my life exploding with mostly positive albeit time consuming things. Full time at work, helping with the new puppy, continuing my writing amongst other things – like my birthday and trips to San Francisco/Wyoming!!! The negatives include attempting to balance everything that’s been going on, which in turn has been causing stress. I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of stress eating and overly consuming coffee that’s also heavily creamer-ed. I grasp the fact that I am still a paleo-lovin’ babe, but unfortunately it is still much too easy to find packaged and/or convenience foods within that specific dietary lifestyle. And I know this, because I have been slowly indulging in such boxed wonders. Not much, but still, it’s been enough. Beyond the occasional packaged treats – and hard ciders, and whiskey neats – my number one negative cloud has been has been the two tests run by my doctor.

In March, I went to see a new doctor. Since my mother has RA (rheumatoid arthritis), and I already being diagnosed with Raynaud’s Phenomenon, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was on the path to at least one autoimmune disease. So, giving my symptoms (swollen joints, horrible pains in my feet at the end of the day, increasing anxiety, chronic exhaustion, blurry sight, completely random mood swings) I was told to get a blood test. I find that the worst part about blood tests isn’t really the prick of the needle, but the waiting. Waiting for results is boarder line torture, especially when you know that something is very wrong, and your appointments have to be booked a month in advance.

Before I had my blood taken, something incredibly strange happened. My body was reacting to things like work and the stresses of normal life at an increased level. I couldn’t control my reactions to things, and found myself hiding away because I didn’t know what was causing these outbreaks. I felt like crying, but there was nothing to cry for; my body hurt more then it ever had before. Any little thing would set my heart racing in the worst way, and I couldn’t control it. Six days of this before finally, I slowly began to feel not like myself, but slightly more under control again. Thankfully, I was about a week away from getting my results. Seven days later, my doctor told me that I may have lupus, but we needed a second blood test to be sure. Just keep breathing is what I told myself over… and over… and over again.

There I was receiving the results from my second test, and as it turns out, I don’t have lupus… yet. Incredibly, I was angry about that outcome. It will sound outrageous to some, but I actually wanted lupus – not because I wanted a disease, but simply because I wanted to know what was up with my body, and how to care for it. Why in the world couldn’t I just know? Since I was eleven I’ve been trying to figure out what my body wants, and here I was again, answer-less. In all truth, it took me one whole day to calm down and realize what had happened to me. I hadn’t been throw out int he cold, I had been given a gift here, one that allowed me complete control over what happened next with my physical and mental health. I had the potential to either accelerate the “landing” of an autoimmune disease” or keeping the “switch turned off”. I could, should I decide to do so, not live in the world of crippling autoimmune diseases. How incredible!

So, that is my next mission: to restart my immune system while it’s still working and keep this lupus or any other AD (autoimmune disease) as far away as possible for as long as I can. That’s possible by discarding the dietary choices I know to be bad for my own body (processed sugar, red meat, grains, dairy, soy) while weeding out some of the new foods that cause inflammation in my joint, or send my blood racing due to the anxiety is brings out in my body.

Post-Break

What’s incredible to me is the ability to be so excited about something, to be willing to put time, money, heart into a project and/or a passion yet when it comes down to really moving it forward – to showing it off to family, friends, strangers – so many of us back down. Which is what I’ve done, over and over again. I’ve allowed my fire to be smothered by my own assumptions and projections of what other might think of me and stopped any idea of what I previously wanted to go after. With feeling all of that, and allowing seven months between posts, why am I back at it?

An old friend from high school began blogging about her life, and you know what I thought? Why did I stop doing that?! It seems like such a simple way to share, and it’s so wonderful to read for someone who is seeing her posts. Why should I believe that anyone would feel differently about my own blog? So here I am, feeling a re-ignited joy and determination for sharing my wellness, my story, and my continuing journey through finding health as told by my body.

There was a reason I wanted to really focus on all aspects of life, not just nutrition, because in my opinion, it’s all connected. Stress of what people think, well that leads to adrenaline, which leads to any number of outcomes (for me is goes anxiety+emotionally eating+self-hate/self-doubt). Our minds, bodies, emotions, and environments are all created with each other in mind, yet that seems to have been forgotten over the development of Western medicine – or worse, not taught in the first place. This is something I’m still trying to really grasp in my every day moments, but it always comes back to me one way or another, usually after I’ve slipped back into my old habits (see a common equation posted a few sentences ago). Finding a balance between want and need, between yes and no, it all effects who we are as a whole. And leading a holistic life has a major requirement of constantly finding the harmony within ourselves. This is not an easy task, at least not here, in a society that values quantity over quality, at least not for me.

So I’m back, posting again because every time I try something new, whether it continues on or stops dead in its track, I learn something about new about myself in every area. So I’m going to continue on, and I’m going to keep pushing through my fear. Because this is what I want to do: I want to share my experiences and struggles in the hope that it helps others through their own. I want to create a community of holism like many others in the world.

Look out for my next post. It’ll have better detail of what has been happening on my side of the screen!

(W)holistic Transition Program – Month 1!

January: The Month for New Beginnings!

It’s important to develop and collect moments of confidence and accomplishments to keep you going throughout the year. That’s why each month there will be a few different areas of life for us to make a small change. This process is all about continuing on, and bettering ourselves little by little every single day. That is why this month, the first month, the goals that we will set need to be small, yet powerful.

Setting achievable goals doesn’t mean they aren’t worth your time. On the contrary, my opinion is that they are just as challenging and even more fruitful in the long run! My best New Year’s was the one that just passed, because I was able to look at at 2017 and see that I had progressed through the entire year without hitting a plateau! I had to kick my impatience to the curb – several times… – and just allow myself to simply be. Now I’m on a mission to help others feel this way this time in 2019!

Month One Goals: Set an achievable, realistic goal. Nothing is too small; you can decide on one, or multiple goals, as long as you know that you can continue it on throughout the month. Grab a piece of paper and a pencil; open up your notes on your iPhone, and get to thinkin’! Have fun, be courageous, and make a change! You deserve it, and you can do it!

*The meaning behind this is to begin collecting simple but powerful victories to keep you moving throughout the year!

Here are some example:

One Starbucks a week
Add one additional workout a week, or just add in one day a week if working out isn’t already within your daily/weekly routine.
Eat out once a week, or remove all together.
My recommendation: Eat breakfast within one hour of waking up!

For me, my new personal goal for January is to go soy-free! The reason for it? Because even though I am a gluten-free vegan already, it’s still very possible to eat junk food – most of that junk food includes soy. Over the holidays, I have found myself excited about the choices for sweets, and snacks, but feeling ultimately blah at the end of the day. I didn’t understand why… until I started looking at the ingredients of my cookies and crackers. Soy was in every single one of my treats, and so that lead me on a hunt through a Google search. I’ll be posting a blog next week about the health pros and cons of eating soy on a regular basis, so I’ll save all the good stuff for that!

Have fun, and welcome this new year with confidence! I’m right here with you!

One of my personal hang ups is outside encouragement and validation alongside accountability. Since I need all of those things too, I’m offering the option of receiving monthly, weekly, or even daily affirmation, support, and accountability to help keep you on track with your goals! For an even more personal accountability you and I will be in contact so I can help you plan, execute, and accomplish all of your goals for 2018! If that sounds like the extra push you need, please feel free to contact me for more details!!

(W)holistic Transition Program

January… The month of “New Year, New You” is here, and I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait for the new year as much as I can dread it. Setting goals for the length of 12 months can be daunting, and more often than not it seems that most people tend to alter, change, or stop their plans altogether when life starts back up.

I was twelve when I made my first New Year’s Resolution, and it was something unreachable and unrealistic not only in general but also because, you know, I was twelve. My body hadn’t really begun shifting around into the body I have now, yet still, when the end of the year rolled around I found myself facing my first a many Year’s End disappointments, because I was still gaining weight, not losing it. In all honesty, I didn’t actually try, and that was a part of the misery. But what could I really have done at that age? Especially when the goal was to be “skinny”, not healthy; when I had no knowledge of what is inside the food I was eating, or the realization of the age I was at. So when 2008 came nothing was different.

Soon, Resolution after Resolution was slapping me upside the face. I finally, in January of 2017 (Yes, it took me that long to figure it out haha!) I made a realization that made me actually keep a Resolution: go month-by-month! This incredible, simple tactic that has given me a hell of a 2017, and has allowed me to continue on with my progress to this very moment. Think about it. You end up having accomplished way more – at least twelve separate goals reached by the end of 2018! Once I really bought into the slow and steady techniq, I found all the results I had been looking for since 2006, and actually excited to begin another year!

(W)holistic Life & Nutrition is starting off the (W)holistic Transition of 2018 right here, right now! Over the next twelve months, I will be posting the guidelines of the month’s goal setting, along with examples for you to choose from or simply to get your own ideas flowing. The key to this program is taking our time, and taking control of our choices, our goals, and time after time reaching those goals!

If I haven’t lost you yet, I want to make sure that I tell you that feeling overwhelmed by this is completely understandable – but believe me, it is possible for everyone! Because of the gradual aspect of this program, there is a strong ability to mold this around any hang ups or potential doubts that you may be feeling in your life and with your daily routines. Time, responsibilities, and daily “to-dos” involving ourselves, our families and our work can create a series of roadblocks, but believe in yourself – you can follow along with the (W)holistic Transition Program; you can find yourself living a more holistic lifestyle by December 31st of 2018! All it takes is starting, no matter where you are!

One of my personal hang ups is lack of outside encouragement and validation alongside no accountability. Since I need all of those things too, I’m offering the option of receiving monthly, weekly, or even daily affirmations from yours truly to give support, and accountability to help keep you on track with your goals! For an even more personal approach you and I can be in contact so I can help you plan, execute, and accomplish all of your goals for 2018! If that sounds like the extra push you need, please feel free to contact me for more details!!

Without further ado, let’s start this already!

What is “holistic”?

“Holistic” can be seen as many different thing to different kinds of people. The general definition is all the parts of a something that are interconnected, resulting in a connected whole. When applied to the human diet and lifestyle, I found a quote in a book titled Whole: Rethinking the Science of Nutrition by Dr. T. Colin Campbell that helps paint the right, simple picture of a holistic – or also known as the WFPB diet. (His book was one of my texts for the first half of my current nutritional certification. If you’re curious enough about the WFPB diet | Whole-Food-Plant-Based | I would highly recommend grabbing a copy of this book and settling in with it).

On page 7, Dr. Campbell writes, “The ideal human diet looks like this: Consume plant-based foods in forms as close to their natural state as possible(“whole”foods). Eat a variety of vegetables, fruits, raw nuts and seeds, beans and legumes, and whole grains.” That is the ideal human diet, with the dismissal of “-heavily processed foods and animal products.” The quote continues on with a warning to stay away from added sugars, salts and oils. And that’s it, easily spelled out here, and in the book. Yet still, what about the reality of attempting to apply this kind of lifestyle and diet to someone who had been following the SAD (Standard American Diet) their entire life? That seems insanely daunting no matter where you are on you’re diet journey

It is with these simply put but overwhelming statements and lists that create a resistance to trying out the holistic diet and lifestyle like the WFPB diet mentioned above. There are delicious recipes, and yes, there are countless cookbooks and Google searches to prepare you for the change. But there is one thing that is intertwined within the American lifestyle that seems to make the biggest argument: time.

Our time is the only thing we can’t get back, and we refuse to put it into anything we don’t find essential and/or pleasurable. We Americans run on stress and instant gratification – which is why we immediately Google search something like “holistic lifestyle for beginners”, see that it involves no fast food and no meat, and back away quickly. We work too much, see our loved ones less often, and cherish the tiny amounts of time between shifts. Meal prepping, multiple days at the grocery store and lack of convince food = too much trouble for us busy people. Believe me, I understand at last some of these struggles.

Here is the kicker though: when applying our time to things we find enjoyable and pleasurable we seem to always find the time and/or the money. It’s something I struggle with every single day – I can’t tell you how many times I said I couldn’t sit and make my own dinner between plans, but found enough time to add in an extra episode or two of Parks and Rec. on Netflix.

Since my passion for sharing my findings, I have been accused of trying to change the American way of living; of judging things and ways of life that I had been raised with my entire life, but I am here to say that I have no intention of destroying the BBQ on the 4th of July, or turkey dinner on Thanksgiving. What I want to change is the way we look at our edible traditions we’ve been blessed with, and change them for the better.

Since the Holidays just passed, most people are looking for a reset on their diets, or signing up for an insane, rigorous workout routine that about kills them by week two. What if, instead of trying to better the outsides of our bodies first and working on the insides way later on, we use the next few holiday-free weeks and reverse that habit? What if we all tried to better our insides before our outsides?

Over the next year, (W)holistic Life & Nutrition will be promoting the realities not only of the outcomes through transferring into a holistic diet, but the ups and the downs, and the pitfalls and the victories. We are all together, and we are not alone, even if we are the only ones in our family and friend group living this way! (Which I am!!)

I look forward to meeting with all of you readers throughout the year, and sharing my own real-life moments and memories of living a (W)holistic Life!